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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27840871">usagi-chan syndrome</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiblues/pseuds/yukiblues'>yukiblues</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>illuminati yukishima [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Dissociation, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:00:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27840871</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiblues/pseuds/yukiblues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Renzou is determined to annoy Yukio into feeling something. He just knows it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Okumura Yukio/Shima Renzou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>illuminati yukishima [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2284772</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>usagi-chan syndrome</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKVvQNY_-8M">the new morning musume song did this to me</a>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The air bit at his skin and iced his glasses. He vaguely felt the bench under him, but the cold had numbed his senses hours ago. He can’t tell what time it is anymore.</p><p>“Looks to be a few hours after midnight now. We should probably get going,” Yukio recognized the voice, but didn’t have the energy to register who it is fast enough before a hand grabbed his and led him away.</p><p>Renzou stopped on a step and looked behind him.</p><p>“Hey, you good there?”</p><p>Yukio didn’t look. He raised his shoulders as little as he could.</p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p>He expected him to protest, but Renzou simply sighed and kept walking. Yukio let go of his hand, and felt a sense of déjà vu. He chuckled and hoped Renzou didn’t notice.</p><p>But Renzou stopped and looked behind him again with that stupid worried stare of his, like he was having trouble counting the moles on his face, and sighed. Again.</p><p>“You’re out of it again. What’s wrong?” His voice was firm.</p><p>He shrugged. He felt fine. Actually, he felt nothing. Yeah, nothing.</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>Renzou stared harder at him, a mix of worry and ‘You’re full of shit.’</p><p>“You’re full of shit.” Damn.</p><p>But as much as the cold numbed him, it sharpened his tongue, and he didn’t bite back.</p><p>“You’re one to talk. Now’s not the time, we’re probably late anyway. Let’s go.”</p><p>But Renzou didn’t move- in fact, he planted his feet into the ground, crossed his arms, and <i>stared</i>. Fuck.</p><p>“We’re not doing this again. You’ve been spacing out since we got down here, and that was like, 10 o’clock. It’s what, five in the morning now?” He shifted his weight forward and sighed. “Just, ugh. Tell me what’s going on. You’re not ‘ok’ and you don’t feel ‘nothing’ and both you and me know that.”</p><p>The sky was black. All he heard were the sounds of birds chirping, dead leaves rustling, and Renzou hitting the nail on the head with Yukio’s mental state.</p><p>“I told you, I feel nothing right now. Things are fine. I’m just tired.”</p><p>“And how many times have I heard that one? You’re always tired. Well, I know you are, but like, you know what I mean. You’re always tired, but you’re not always <i>tired<i>. C’mon.”</i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Yukio finally felt something. His subsequent sigh fell out with the little control he had left and all the force he could put into it, and he looked up.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“It’s cold. It is dark outside. It is three hours into another day, and I haven’t slept in days. Forgive me for not talking during a fucking mission. We can have the heart-to-heart tomorrow, when I have the energy to feel something more than the exasperation you’re causing me.” The words fell out faster than he could stifle them, and strangely, he didn’t regret it. He was back to feeling nothing. It felt fine. It felt good.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Renzou pressed a hand to his head and let out a loud groan that irritated Yukio’s building headache and picked at his annoyance. He lets the hand drop off, dragging down from his head to his forehead, to his eyes, to his chin, before falling listlessly to his side. Yukio watched it as the bitterness grew in his chest.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>The boy before him shifted his weight again, sighed sharply, and looked straight into Yukio’s eyes. He was dead set on this. Yukio felt the bitterness and annoyance shoot up so hard it made him dizzy. But he still felt nothing. No, things were just empty. It was blank. He stared straight back at Renzou and readied himself.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I know you’re not feeling well right now. As much as you deny it, it’s been obvious all night and I’m not gonna ignore it. You can’t keep pretending your feelings don’t exist--”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’ve been doing that for almost a decade now, it doesn’t matter. I don’t have anyone to make me feel anything. I’m fine.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He just needs to keep pushing. If he pushes more, Renzou will eventually give up and get off his back. Then they’ll get back to base, and he can go to bed and not think. But Renzou keeps pushing back, because he’s determined to drive Yukio crazy. Maybe it is his motive, to get him to feel something, anything. In that case, he’s successful in pissing him off.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>But Renzou looked at him with that fucking <i>smirk</i> of his, and he knew he let too much slip.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“So you’re lonely.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You said you don’t have anyone. You’re lonely.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Fuck.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“That’s not what I meant. Stop twisting my words, let’s just go,” He felt his chest hollow.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Then what did you mean? I heard what I heard, and to me, it sounds like you’re lonely.” Renzou’s shit-eating grin grew. Yukio wanted to tear his hair out, but he resigned to tightening his hands into fists and stewing in his own anger.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m not <i>lonely</i>. I meant that I don’t have anyone to cause me any feeling but hatred. And you’re doing a great job of making me feel hatred.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I don’t know, you sound pretty annoyed right now. That’s not hatred,” Renzou relaxed his shoulders, and Yukio felt his raise more at that.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Wow, you got me to feel another negative emotion a step away from hatred. Congratulations,”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“It’s something at least. God, you’re so allergic to feeling anything that isn’t like shit,” Renzou chuckled that stupid chuckle of his, traded his stupid smirk for a stupid smile, and Yukio could sense almost all of his resolve dissolving at that.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>A few seconds passed before he knew it, and Renzou leaned forward on his K’rik.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“So I’m right?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Yukio felt his anger spike, and his fists twisted so hard he couldn’t feel them anymore. Renzou was successful in both melting away his cold numbness and enraging him to the point of numbness. It was so loud it blurred his vision and </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Renzou leaned away and picked up his K’rik, holding it on his back and sighing. “Ok, yeah, you’re really pissed. Well, at least you’re not borderline frozen anymore, but still.” He stepped forward and Yukio felt himself step back.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Did you know bunnies die of loneliness?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Yukio blanked.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What? What does that have to do with anything?” He sputtered. Renzou’s just trying to distract him. He’s drawing this out to make him talk about his feelings.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“This is ridiculous,” He deadpanned, “We don’t have time for this. I don’t even know how long it’s been since we stopped.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“It doesn’t matter,” Renzou waved his hand, “C’mon, answer the question! Did you know bunnies die of loneliness?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Yukio felt his shoulders relax at that, strangely. He didn’t notice the rest of his resolve vanishing.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes, I did. It’s a common fact.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Well, I’m diagnosing you with usagi-chan syndrome.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Yukio deadpanned, again. “That’s not a real condition, you prick.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Renzou laughed his dumb laugh again, and Yukio hated him for it.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Usagi-chan syndrome is exactly what it sounds like: you’re lonely, and if you don’t receive affection, you’ll die.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Maybe that’s for the best.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Woah-kay, I didn’t mean it that literally. Like, ‘die of affection’ as in ‘be sad and lonely and upset forever,’ which is, y’know, not good.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I don’t even know what you’re on about. It’s not that deep, I didn’t mean it that much, and ‘usagi-chan syndrome’ is not a real condition.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I heard you the first time! Ach, you’re impossible,” Renzou huffed lightly, and Yukio rolled his eyes, and Renzou moved forward, and Yukio felt his face go hot.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Renzou kissed him for a moment, a second, and then moved away way too soon, and touched his nose.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Boop.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Yukio moved back so fast he could almost hear his headache scream in agony.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Wh-what was that?!” His face was hotter, dulled only slightly by the cold air he suddenly felt again. Renzou’s asshole smile grew again.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Just helping to cure your usagi-chan syndrome. Best way to treat it is by giving immediate affection to the patient,” His tone was light, and his shit-eating grin was back, and Yukio’s vision was a little clearer.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You’re an idiot,” He glared, but a smile still threatened to bubble up from his chest.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Not the first time you’ve told me that,” Renzou turned on his heel, and Yukio watched as he strolled down the dark street, noticing the way the street lamps glowed on him from above, and how the sunlight was starting to creep into the area.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“C’mon, it’s time for the fun part of figuring out how to get back.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You better know how to get back, you’re the spy here.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I don’t get lost, trust me, I’m experienced!”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Yukio chuckled, letting a smile rise to his cheeks, and followed Renzou down the street, the sun blanketing a thin layer of light over them.</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>like renzou said, usagi-chan syndrome is when you're lonely and you'll die without affection. it comes from how bunnies die of loneliness (which, based on a google search, is a real thing apparently). i got it from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKVvQNY_-8M">the momusu song</a> so go listen to it lol</p><p>yell at me on tumblr @<a href="http://uuuuutan.tumblr.com/">uuuuutan</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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